Fantastic blog, and very inspiring. I’d heard about Posse through meeting Jeremy Colless (Artesian) at a VentureCrowd launch here in Perth, and have loved reading your story.

Thought I’d mention a TedTalks from 2011 that you may have already seen – but in case you haven’t this might be relevant!

http://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar

All the best for the future,

Rebecca

a) Is honest equal to transparent? An old answer we’ve all seen says there are lies of omission (not speaking, not being transparent, not telling everything the other might value hearing) and lies of commission (speaking, saying things that are not factually true, or not emotionally real).

More simply, I am most transparent with those I feel most intimate with. For example, when someone says, “How are you?”, I give a short cheery answer, most often. I guess that the words spoken were not the same as the meaning, which I often guess is more like, “I’m feeling calm and polite, and want to say hello with respect.” And telling them how I slept last night, when they don’t know me well, might be heard as, I’m self-absorbed, and I need your full attention. It may seem selfish.

Or, I may be trying to say that emotional connection, which varies, is part of what I use when I connect on all levels, and it feels “honest” to be less transparent in some cases, just to save time, for example.

I guess I’m saying that I like to connect emotionally, and not always reach for maximum depth right away.

And, to your point, I don’t like to hide or point towards illusions and lies about facts. But I do accept some level of privacy and formality, as fits the local culture as I am feeling it.

b) Other ways to connect intimately and emotionally make a useful list, I feel. For example: letting “actions speak louder than words” meaning using facial expression and body language to let someone know what I am feeling, and not feeling stuck with saying everything I can with words. And letting some things go, that is ignoring small things, like a spot of dirt on someone’s shirt, so I guess I’m saying “prioritizing” and not letting everything become important.

In short, forcing the strongest types of intimate honesty may be dishonest, since it doesn’t come from your full self. With practice, I have learned to be more and more honest with strangers, but as a 59 year old, I remember trying to be a true “hippy” and trying to be honest all the time. I found that it becomes a bit dishonest, and that others didn’t want to hear all my feelings.

So I come back to the differences between times for intimate honesty and times for a more formal honesty – which may be more “true” to yourself and your personality, than always being deeply intimate. I’m suggesting a balancing act between inviting everyone you see into your deepest self, and being as honest as suits the person’s needs and your own needs, for that time.

I do love honesty. So I hope that comes through in this long memo. First ran into this blog today, and like the folks on it. Thanks for this work.

I remember a while back you told me that you’d decided not to work with people you thought weren’t good people. That was a real insight for me. Why bother wasting your time when there are millions of incredible people just waiting to be asked to be part of something exciting and fun?

Keep up the great work and I’ll take on board Peter’s advice and keep it front of mind!